remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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