At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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