She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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