my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ugly people sure do ruin things
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
