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So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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