I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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