You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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