i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Come share oat with me in your robe
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
