I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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