I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
