Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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