Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
