about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
