i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were trust falling into bushes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
