She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
