you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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