i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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