don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
