Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
