I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
