the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
