I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
