He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
