She is in my trunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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