I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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