i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
