hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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