the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
