you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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