ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
