So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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