I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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