he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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