He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
