is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
