Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
