I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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