I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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