Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
