Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
