This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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