Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
