Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
