'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
