does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
