I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
