I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
