You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
