Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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