Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
